What happened to the sanctity of marriage? »

By Vivian Obiechina and Priscilla Iro

Divorce entails cancellation or legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body.

Recently, the issue of divorce has become rampant in our country Nigeria that it has given a different perspective about marriage. Marriage according to Oxford dictionary, is a union of two or more people that creates a family tie.
Marriage is a beautiful thing, though not rosy at all times, but still requires much perseverance. Using our parents in the olden days as illustration, who despite their polygamous nature upheld that sacred tie…

Then what happened to the sanctity of marriage?
What happened to that sweet relationship that exist between couples?
What happened to that glamorous celebration of silver or golden jubilee anniversary?
What happened to those marital vows(For better, or worse. In sickness and in health. Till death do us apart) made at the altar?

It is rather appalling that most people prepare for “wedding” instead of “marriage”. They spend a lot of money and time preparing for a day event, yet not prepared for a life long event.

Recall early last week, a particular tweet trended where a lady raised an alarm about 4,000 divorce files waiting on her boss’s table to be signed and dissolved. According to the Abuja lady, she tweeted that the most touchy part of the situation is that some of these marriages are not even up to 2 years.

Meanwhile, there are several events that trigger divorce amongst couples. They include;

● Adultery
● Domestic violence
● Addictions (Either to alcoholism, drugs or gambling)
● Workaholism
● Deceit

According to survey, husbands engage in extramarital affairs by 75% in most cases while wives 25%. However, it is pertinent to know that if a marriage survives more than 20 years, it is unlikely to end in divorce.

Talking about domestic violence, we depict emotional and physical abuse; here, wives are affected 60% while husbands 40% in some cases. But currently, research has it that reverse has become the case as the issue of stabbing, disfiguring faces, castrating etc. are now done by the wives instead.

Also, lately, people are addicted to so many things that it affects their marriages negatively. This trending issue of drug abuse has left many homes broken.

My question still lingers on, what will make a young or married man to consistently be on drugs in order to satisfy his partner sexually? In some situations, it causes premature death or rift between couples especially when the other partner finds out.

Another cause of divorce is “Workaholism”. This likely is attached to ladies especially bankers who work from 7am to 7pm. This situation has always caused problems between couples as the work takes a greater part of their time thereby leading to divorce.

“Deceit”, this is a controversial cause of divorce. Many marriages were practically built on lies which automatically goes sour when the truth is eventually revealed. Divorce is associated with diminished psychological well-being of the people close to the victims, especially children. It leads to unhappiness, depression, anxiety, less satisfaction with life and a greater use of mental health services.

To put an end to this issue of divorce, it is greatly advised couples should visit a counsellor from time to time if they find any repulsive act from their partners or if they are against involving a third party in their marriage, then they should settle the issue amicably between them. To achieve a marriage without divorce, couples should do things in common as it bonds/connects their spirits together, they should take care of their appearance constantly, remain faithful to each other, love their spouse in a way he or she wants to be loved and lastly compliment each other regularly both in private and in public.